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Here's What It Takes To Get My Goat!


My son Jacob, a bit of a wordsmith, loves quizzing me about the meaning of seldomly used words or expressions. For example, the other day, he threw "ubiquitous" at me and was thrilled when I had to admit that I couldn't give him an accurate definition. (Incidentally, after a quick Google search, I learned it means "omnipresent" or "found everywhere"— and, for the record, I wasn't able to spell it either)


"You're a writer," he scolded merrily. "You should know these things!"

Perhaps the reason Jacob takes such great delight in word-stumping me is that I have a tendency to correct my family when they misuse words. (They'd probably all tell you this is one of my more annoying habits!)


In public, I have to bite my tongue when it comes to correcting others whenever I hear words being misused. I mean, nobody likes a know-it-all, right?


I remember one date night when my husband ordered something that wasn't technically on the menu. Our waiter was super cool about it. He said, "No worries. I'll take it to you, irregardless of whether or not it's on the menu. I think we still have all the stuff to make what you want in the kitchen."


Not to be a word-snob or anything, but irregardless is a made-up word! (a zany combination of regardless and irrespective) And, let's not forget the confusing can of worms that using bring vs. take opens ! (Heavy sigh . . .)


I can still see my husband's amused expression as our waiter left the table.


"Now, that little exchange just about killed you, didn't it? he asked with a knowing chuckle.


"I have no idea what you're talking about," I lied. "Besides, you're the one who went off-menu. I'm much easier to get along with than you."


James was not going to let this slide. "I guess there's a first time for everything!" he quipped.


Here are some funny examples of "wrong-way-words" that come to mind:


"Monica, log it over to me!", shouted one of my old high school basketball teammates during a game. The word she was looking for was actually "lob". After that game, we all deliberately said "log" instead of "lob" because we found it so hilarious!


One of my sisters says, "butt-naked" as opposed to "buck-naked". Actually, both terms are correct but "butt-naked" suggests a person is exposing only their buttocks. "Buck-naked" on the other hand means total nudity, full-monty, the whole shootin' match!


Years ago, we had a sales-woman who worked remotely for our company. She called me one day, extremely frustrated. "Monica," she groaned. "I think my "cervix" is down again!"

It took a moment for me to process her complaint.

No, she wasn't having reproductive issues—just problems connecting to our "server"!

In my mind, the funniest of all misspeaks I've heard occurred during a conversation I had with a friendly cashier. While ringing up my groceries, the talkative young girl shared her errant boyfriend's transgressions. After giving a quick back and forth glance to make sure no one else was listening, she leaned in closer to me and confessed, "He's always used me as his escaped goat."


Of course, I was not going to correct this sweet gal but it was hard not to smile at her words. (I have a very active imagination and all I could think of was goats gone wild!)

Interestingly enough, as I'm making my way through The One Year Bible (Something I tackle every January 1st, with varying degrees of success as the year progresses), I just trudged through Leviticus. (My apologies to all of you who are fans of this chapter of the Bible but honestly, for me it's a struggle to get through it))


Once again I came across this in Leviticus 17: 7-10:


Then he is to take two goats and present them before the Lord at the entrance to the tent of meeting. He is to cast lots for the two goats—one for the Lord and the other for the scapegoat. Aaron shall bring the goat whose lot falls to the Lord and sacrifice it for a sin offering. But the goat chosen by lot as the scapegoat shall be presented alive before the Lord to be used for making atonement by sending it into the wilderness as a scapegoat.


So, the term "scapegoat" (not escaped goat!) comes from the Bible. The scapegoat took the blame for the sin of the people. (Pretty cool, right?)


Although not a flattering reference, in the same way, Jesus became our "scapegoat", taking our sins on him and removing our sins from us. Our Saviour would ultimately perform the same sacrifice nearly two thousand years later.


For this, I am eternally grateful.

Some additional thoughts on the spiritual side of things . . .

We live in a fallen world, friends. Every day it gets a little crazier. It's time to let the cares of this world go. Forgive those who've hurt you and live every day to the fullest. Most importantly, if you haven't accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, there's no better time than now to do so.


Check this out from Romans 10: 9-10:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

In the verse above, you can see the requirements needed for salvation. You have to declare it with your mouth (speak it out loud), and you have to believe it in your heart.

When you pray the sinner’s prayer, what you are doing is declaring with your mouth what you believe in your heart. So, yes, it is necessary for salvation.


I don't profess to know everything that's going on in the world (Or the English language for that matter! lol) But, I do really believe that the time is now to lean not on our own understanding but trust in God that we're going to be okay.


Shoot me an email if you'd like to pray together at mesimmons32@gmail.com.

From The Great Outdoors -

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the frigid, record-breaking cold and snow we experienced here in the great state of Texas last week. Many of our friends and family were without power and water for multiple days. It was so heart-warming to see people reaching out to help one another through this challenging time.


We felt fortunate not to have lost power or water at our home, likely due to our proximity to Lake Grapevine. We continue to pray for those struggling to repair/restore damage to their property.


On the flip side of the coin, it's probably true that no one enjoyed frolicking in the snow more than our grand dog, Dallas! Here he is on our back deck wearing a cute little snow-mustache.


We sure love this silly Vizsla!


God bless you all!

Monica