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Hmm. Are You Wearing A Bra With That?

The number one question people have asked me since I started my 2020 Closet ClotheSure Challenge back in February is, "Are you keeping this one?" (Usually asked as they scrutinize what I'm wearing to figure out if it makes me feel like a ten). The second question would probably be, "How are you able to wear a bra with that?"

Well, although I'm a relatively modest gal, since I've blogged about some pretty private stuff over the past few months—everything from incredible fat suckers to some of my darkest moments, I suppose it's time to share this little gem of information with you: If I can figure out how to get away without wearing a bra, I will always go for it!

If you follow my blog, you might recall the bright, fuchsia dress above (White House Black Market) from Week 30. Although the dress did end up getting the boot because I felt it was fitting a little too snug on me, (And definitely wasn't "Feeling Like a Ten" material), I would like to point out that one of the most redeeming qualities about this garment was that it didn't require wearing a traditional bra. I'd always worn an adhesive alternative underneath it, something I refer to as "sticky bras". In my humble opinion, these marvels of the "under" world are the best thing to come along since Spanx and they come in a variety of options. Below are some of my personal favorites—all purchased at Target. (And, may I add, Made In The USA by Lingerie Solutions in good ole Austin, Texas!)

Since I'm a firm believer in sharing great tip fashion tips, I'll go on to say that sticky bras and their tacky little sisters, (cleverly named breast petals) are perfect for most strapless or off-the-shoulder garments. They're also a great solution when if you're wearing something with thin straps or certain low v-neck tops and you don't want to deal with a bra. Note: The "petals" which I guess is simply a gentler way of saying "nipple concealers", come in three different styles, gel, non-adhesive, or the basic model. (The basic petals are designed for one-time use and remind me of flower-shaped Band-Aids)

But beware, my friends—while the idea of incorporating these handy little "up-top" helpers may be heaven-sent, like everything else, it's important to know their limitations. Failure to do so could result in a "wardrobe malfunction" such as the one Janet Jackson once claimed to experience during a half-time performance with Justin Timberlake at Super Bowl XXXVIII). It'd be my guess that since this happened back in 2004, you may or may not remember it, so I'll take a moment to refresh your memory.

Sixteen years ago (gulp!) I was watching the game, eager to see these two pop-music superstars do their thing. (Sidebar: Unless the Cowboys are playing, I seldom get excited about watching the Super Bowl, except for the commercials and the half-time shows) I didn't actually see it, but apparently, Janet's right breast was "accidentally" exposed when J.T. pulled off half of her bustier.

In the interest of research, (LOL) I took a moment to Google the aforementioned "malfunction". It was pretty easy to find a photo that captured the moment for all eternity. Interestingly enough, I learned that underneath her bustier, Ms. Jackson was wearing a shiny nipple shield shaped like an Aztec sun—or perhaps an octopus? In either case, I'm thinking: This is not an adornment most of us sport under our clothes—ever! Critics believe that the incident was a planned, choreographed move on MTV's part (they were the show's producer) since they'd prepped the world for some "shocking moments".

I guess we got them since we're still talking about it after all these years.

Sorry, Janet! I hate to steal your nipple-baring thunder, but while your "wardrobe malfunction" may have been a calculated publicity stunt, women have been unashamedly exposing their breasts since the 18th-century. Take philosopher and famed mathematician Émile du Châtelet, for example. She was known for wearing extremely low-cut dresses that revealed her nipples—which she rouged to accentuate their appearance.

Now, for a lot of us, the thought of living in a world where going braless is socially acceptable, we must also remember that during this same period of time, popular French fashion required wearing tight-fitting (think painful!!) bodices that forced breasts into a position where the nipple might be visible. So, in a way, these gals were basically trading one type of torture for another.

But enough history! Let's get back to the issue of sticky bras and my advice if you're considering adding them to your wardrobe:

  1. Sticky bras and humidity do not a great pair make! -In fact, I learned this the hard way once when I was attending an outdoor event in Houston. It was super-humid that evening and I was wearing an off-the-shoulder jumpsuit which required me to practically undress to use the ladies' room. I'll spare you the details but during one such bathroom break the sticky bra literally came "unstuck" from my chest and plopped down into the commode! (See? I warned you that things might get personal again!) Fortunately, the fabric of my outfit was thick enough (and it'd grown dark outside) to conceal my lack of coverage.

  2. Sticky bras are not sports bras: - Years ago, my son Jacob participated in a basketball camp. On the last day, the parents came to watch the players receive their awards. The coaches thought it'd be fun to have the moms participate in a free-throw shooting contest. Well, not wanting to be a spoil-sport, yours truly stepped up to the free-throw line to take her best shot (And, perhaps re-live her high school basketball glory days). As the ball left my hands, I could feel my sticky bra release its grip on my chest. Not one of my finer moments!

  3. Sticky bras do best if you wear them with something that hugs your body: - I recommend this for a couple of reasons, wearing something form-fitting will help hold the bra in place and also discourage jiggles—not something I have to worry about (I know, TMI, Monica!), but for gals built a bit more voluptuously than moi, I think it bears mentioning.

  4. Sticky bras do better under thicker, less sheer clothing: - If you do want to wear something sheer, I'd suggest including a nude-colored cami with the breast petals. This way you're covered and get a little support.

  5. Sticky bras are not recommended for anyone with sensitive skin - If you read the back of the box, you'll see it's suggested to do a test on your skin to make sure you don't have a reaction to the adhesive material.

  6. Sticky bras can be hand-washed and reused - Again, be sure and read the instructions on the package. Washing and caring for your sticky bras (and gel petals) will prolong their use.

So, that's my little rant on sticky bras! Hopefully, it doesn't shock any of ya'll and you'll forgive me for using the word "nipples"! Not sure why that's so offensive to some since we pretty much all got 'em, but I felt like it was important to be concise. (Sidebar: I have friends who refer to the strapless sticky bras as "veal cutlets", and the breast petals as "Twinkie covers!" Too funny!)

Of course, in my opinion, the best bra is no bra, but until the world is really ready to accept this, I suppose most of us will keep our love for "bralessness" (funny how it rhymes with "lawlessness, don't you think?) under wraps unless we're at home. This, unfortunately, will include me (Bra removal in the car while I'm driving home from work notwithstanding).

I've probably put way too much thought into this and shared just a little too much but I hope it's helped you in some way. After all, a lot of time is invested in writing this blog. And, I'd hate to have made a boobie! LOL)


Closet ClotheSure Week 38

Monday -

This long, bright yellow tunic top will definitely be getting the boot this week. I picked it up a couple of years ago at New York & Company thinking it'd be great over black leggings. This is only the second time I've worn it so it's time to kiss it goodbye.

I'll keep the jeggings (also from New York & Company), but will be more judicious in my color selections moving forward.

Goodbye yellow tunic-top!

Tuesday -

Another fun dress from New York & Company. Love the bright pink color and (always) the pockets, but I'm ready to part with this one now.

Here's why—I think this dress makes me look a little "boxy". So, although I have the perfect shoes for it, in the grand scheme of things it won't hurt to give this piece to someone else who I know will rock it!

Wednesday -

This green dress by Ann Taylor is actually one of my favs! In addition to its full-zip back, it has a funky gold side-zipper that adds to its appeal.

I love the classic cut and the quality of this piece. (Sorry, KG) This one stays in my closet!

Thursday -

I scored this v-neck, block dress at White House Black Market last fall for a song.

It's really nothing special, but when I throw a black blazer over it, I become very "corporate-looking", not something I have much need for these days, but still something to think about for future meetings.


From the Garden

My apologies, but I'm obsessed with my granddog, Dallas. Isn't he such a handsome Vizsla? Here he is on the upper level of our backyard looking quite regal amidst the bright orange pumpkins.

Next week I'll share some shots of the pansies we planted. What a wonderful time of year!

Signing off, with love! Remember, God is in control and hope is on the move!




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